Thoughts on a Sunday Stroll

Suddenly the wind blew into my face as if to wake me up from a daydream and I began to realize the beauty of the evening before me. A cool breeze had replaced the muggy heat that had been so prevalent throughout the summer and the sky was remarkably clear. There was a renewed sense of enthusiasm in my stride and my mind began to work again. As the wind blew through my hair I had a real feeling of being alive.

I was strolling through my neighborhood and of course as I would have loved to have had some sort of amazing mental discovery, I did not. I was consumed by the difference in architecture, colors, automotives, landscaping and many other aspects of my neighborhood. I became mesmerized by people's gardens and flowers - I appreciated their personal touches and creativity. And once again I fell in love with the very idea of individuality.

When I was young I loved to draw houses. I was intrigued by architecture in all its capacities. I loved to look at buildings, bridges, barns - you name it…but houses always caught my eye and held my attention. The affinity was derived I am sure from a mixture of ideas and feelings, but just the same it is an affinity that I have retained to this day. The very idea of the prominence of brick, a chimney covered in ivy, dormers, a brick sidewalk, copulas and spires. The added details that make a home stand out speak to me like paint on a canvas and in many ways our homes, be them big or small, say a great deal about who we are.

As I mention often, I grew up in the small Western Kentucky town of Dawson Springs, where little old ladies raised red geraniums in concrete planters. Slathered with a fresh coat of white paint each year, these urns and geraniums were fixtures on many southern porches. Lawns and porches kept as clean as their Duncan Phyfe filled parlors and dining rooms - they knew what they were doing. On a less beaten side street on a beautiful Sunday there is always a chance that someone might drive by…and be delighted to see the effort put into a yard, a house - a home. I did, try it! Take a walk!

9/11

The questions that don't really have answers sometimes leave us in a place of unsettled injustice. These questions make us stumble away from our innocence scathed by factors that we had no hand in. The life we lead brings us to these places with the distant hopes that the courage, strength and love that it takes to be a hero is an instinct and not a procedure. Nine years after the planes struck the World Trade Center's Twin Towers in New York City, we are still left with questions that are not answered. Questions that make us wonder why humans throughout history have felt the need to kill and destroy.

Looking over a slideshow of photos posted on a media outlet on the internet a couple of days ago brought tears to my eyes and a pain in the pit of my stomach for those men and women lost on that horrible day. Seeing those photos rekindled a pain for the survivors of these men and women, a thankfulness for the brave men and women who went to Ground Zero to risk their lives to save others and a renewed since of pride in our country. A country that always heals but never forgets, a land of hearts and helping hands, a people of strangers willing to come together when the chips fall and on that day unlike any other … the chips fell.

Spending the weekend with good friends the date 9/11 was brought up a few times, somberly, as we looked back on where we were on that day. Flashbacks of news coverage and photos plastered on every media outlet known to man were only ideas tossed around in our heads compared to those that had to witness this horrible event. Not to mention those that were in the towers. A day that claimed thousands of lives goes down in history and as we remember it is hard to believe that something this terrible could ever happen.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that terrible things like this do happen. Ideas and misunderstandings can become so extreme that such things have happened throughout all of history. Lives that have been taken for reasons that seem to have no merit. Murders, acts of violence, terrorists attacks and wars represent a push for power that involves fear, bullying, and distain for humanity. I remember clearly the discomfort and anxiety that I felt in the days following September 11, 2001. I remember firefighters and policemen searching the rubble in New York, at the Pentagon and in a field in Pennsylvania. Thoughts that only lead us to more questions and less answers. Thoughts that make us wince and give us hope for better a understanding of why we need to do such things. Why we as people, why nations, and cultures feel the need to shift our weight in such way. Answers to questions that we may never understand, and truthfully, if we did it may reveal a part of the human psyche that would scare us and disgust us even more.

No matter what these questions do to us, and no matter how many times they arise in our minds, it is my hope that they never allow us to lose hope in the goodness that is in the world. I hope that we don't ask these questions to lay further blame or to validate these unknowns. I hope that we ask these questions to gain a truer knowledge of ourselves. I know we will never forget that day and the days that followed. Those moments in time that have been engrained in our memories that represent some of our darkest fears. Fears that fade away but come back like phantoms from the past as if to remind us that we are all mortal and that we do not know what the future holds. I hope that as we continue to remember and as we remember I hope we continue to heal.

I Like September

As the rain peppered my window this morning I welcomed the sound and the thought of fall lingering into place. All through life we face transitions and just as the seasons change these transitions make us stronger and more adaptable to the next phase. The month of September has always held some significance to me as it is the month of my birth. That said, it always becomes a month to reflect on where I have been the past year and where I am going within the next. However, two years ago my move to Austin added more significance to the month of September - in just a few days I will reach my two year mark in this vibrant city.


Personally, my birthday has and always will have its place as a yearly milestone, but with each passing year it has become less and less important. On the other hand, the anniversary of my move here has become extremely important to me. It would be hard to convey the meaning of all the thoughts, fears, excitement and new experiences, that have passed through my days over the last two years in Austin. However, I would be lying if I didn't say that each day here I have gained a bit more confidence in myself and I feel like I have grown as a person during this block of time as well.

Life began for me in a small town - Dawson Springs, Kentucky was my home for eighteen years and some change. In my heart that will always be home, my family lives there and it was there in that quaint little town that me and my friends cast our dreams on shooting stars and skipping rocks. It will always be there that my mind goes back to. After leaving home I lived in Murray, Kentucky while attending college and later I lived in Nashville, Tennessee. Both places that I loved and enjoyed and have strong ties with many fond memories and friends that are still in each of those cities. But two years ago on a "wing and a prayer," as they say, I left my comfort zone and moved to Austin. A decision that I was confident about but still had my fair share of anxiety toward. Fortunately, this move has been a successful move for me. Looking back on the past two years is a pleasure thinking about all the new experiences and people that have come into my life. Experiences and people that have challenged me, inspired me, and helped me to recognize that life has to be lived.

I have taken a sabbatical of sorts from blogging over the last couple of weeks - but as this month peaks near two very important dates in my life, I feel recharged and ready to tap at these keys again. I feel like life is good and that I have been very fortunate. I know that there are things that I need to work harder at, new things that will be learned, new experiences to have, as well as new people to meet. Those things will fall into place as they always do - and as they do I hope that I allow myself to embrace them with a renewed sense of self and a vigor that reaches out to the stars.

Twenty nine here I come, I can't believe I am saying that, and here's to two awesome years in Austin!